Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

read by Dan Bittner

Sort of a cross between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and True Blood, set in Mexico City, with mismatched teen protagonists (one mortal and one vampire) thrown together in an improbable buddy story where the buddies’ lives are in constant peril, this book should have been tremendous fun. And it really was pretty good… but that was it.

I think the main problem was that I listened to the audiobook instead of reading the print version. Dan Bittner has a fine reading voice and all that, but he doesn’t know how to pronounce Spanish. Which, since the characters are all meant to be Spanish-speakers living in a Spanish-speaking country, is very distracting. There is no need for the narrator to fall into the trope of speaking English with a Spanish accent as a way of letting the listener know that the characters are actually meant to be speaking Spanish, but he ought to at least be able to pronounce proper nouns properly.

Aside from that… the protagonist is clearly meant to be sympathetic, and he is, more or less. But he’s a callow youth, scrappy and perfectly gallant, but not very interesting. The fledgling vampire he’s thrown together with is a much more interesting character, but we don’t get much time with her point of view. Oh, and there’s a lady cop who is stuck doing shady stuff because she’s a single mom and needs the money. A stock character and definitely uninteresting.

What’s interesting about this book is the world it’s set in. There are numerous species of vampire, which all have different appearances, abilities, and vulnerabilities—which explains why, although vampire legends exist throughout the world, they vary tremendously in their details. Each government has responded differently to the existence of these beings, which makes sense too. This is, potentially, a very rich setting for further stories, as this writer’s skill develops.

I’m treating this as the book version of the first X-Men movie—not that great on its own, but setting the stage for future good stuff. And who knows, maybe someone will take this raw material and make a great TV series or movie based on it.

Lost Souls by Poppy Z. Brite

read by Chris Patton

I so wanted to get into this book. This was my second time through it, my first having been in the early-to-mid Aughts after a friend who is a horror fan (and now a horror writer—hi, Ben!) loaned it to me. Actually, he first loaned me another book of hers, Drawing Blood, and although I’m not generally a tremendous horror fan myself, I loved it. I remember not loving this one quite as much, but still, I got into it. It was a vampire book from, in part, the point of view of the vampires, after all; and it took place, in part, in New Orleans. I’m a complete sucker for all of that.

Not so much this time, though. Drawing Blood stands the test of time by being charmingly time-capsule-like. Lost Souls, though, fails the same test by charmlessly and blatantly pandering to the sensibilities of the horror-goth kids of the 90s, mindlessly repeating Anne Rice-esque tropes while splattering gratuitous gore everywhere. Sad to say, I didn’t even make it all the way through this time around.

It starts sometime in the late 70s or very early 80s. A very old vampire named Christian runs a bar in the French Quarter of New Orleans and notices a young girl spending a lot of time there. She believes there are vampires and is hoping to meet some there, in hopes of becoming one herself—though why she should believe this and why she should suspect they hang out at this bar is never explained. She’s more right than she knows, but our barkeep never reveals himself to her. And she’s wrong about one critical thing: in this reality, vampires are born, not made. So even if she does find the beings she seeks, it won’t do her any good.

In fact she does end up meeting some, and it does her much worse than “not any good.” Three old vampire friends of Christian’s roll into town for a visit and end up partying with the girl and impregnating her before taking off for the next chapter of their monotonously rollicking life on the road. After that Christian takes her in, giving her work at the bar and letting her live with him--but never bothering to explain that all vampire pregnancies end in the death of the mother, as the infant invariably eats its way out.

This takes place, and Christian disposes of the body very dispassionately and then drives up north and leaves the infant on a random doorstep with a note pinned to it. In the note he says that the baby’s name is Nothing and that he’ll bring luck to those who raise him.

So that’s all setup. Nothing grows up to be a teenaged psychopath—actually all the vampires pretty much act like teenaged psychopaths, aside from Christian, who acts like a tired old psychopath—and runs away from home and toward an inevitable encounter with his vampire dad and cohort, and also with the two main human characters.

These are Ghost and Steve. They are two young men from a small rural town called Missing Mile, North Carolina, which is also where much of Drawing Blood takes place. Ghost is a spooky kid who has visions. His best friend, roommate, and bandmate is Steve, a self-absorbed rapist. Both are bisexual—seemingly everyone in this book is bisexual—but they don’t appear to be lovers, just very close friends.  Their band, Lost Souls, gives the book its name and provides the plot device that brings the two of them and all the vampires and Steve’s ex-girlfriend and rape victim, Ann, onto a collision course.

Nothing and his father, Zillah, become lovers and then discover their relationship—which delights them both and cements their union, with Zillah becoming fixatedly possessive and Nothing becoming fixatedly dependent. Zillah impregnates Ann and takes off for New Orleans. Ann becomes fixated on Zillah and decides to follow him there, and Ghost decides to follow her and try to save her. This was the point at which I stopped caring about what happened to any of these crazy and painfully improbably people and stopped reading.

If this is the sort of book you like, you’ll really like this book. A lot of people do.

Fledgling by Octavia E. Butler

Imagine waking up in a cave, alone and horribly injured and with no memory of anything that happened before you woke up. First you just have to survive from one minute to the next, then from one hour to the next, and eventually, from day to day. But you don’t have the luxury to just focus on healing; if you’re going to survive, you need to learn who wanted you dead, and why.

This is how Fledgling opens. Our protagonist is a remarkable, intelligent, strikingly self-possessed and resourceful young woman who also happens not to be human. A creature of some kind wanders into the cave where she lies injured and alone. She kills it with her bare hands, eats it, and begins to heal immediately—and that's how we learn that she’s not only a vulnerable girl who is in terrible danger, but is also capable of being very, very dangerous herself.

This is Octavia Butler’s last novel and, in my opinion, her masterpiece. It’s a work of literary fiction that starts out as a mystery, then becomes a vampire novel, then a work of science fiction—and finally it wraps up as a courtroom drama. Butler doesn't so much transcend genre as bend it to her formidable storytelling talents. And the story is hugely entertaining and tightly-woven.

This was my second time through this book, and I’d forgotten just how good it is. Butler was such a master. Here she explores her usual themes of what it means to be female and black, the nature of humanity, what it does to people to be “othered,” and what it does to people to do the “othering.” She does this absolutely seamlessly, in the context of a gripping story set in a very recognizable California among very real people.

So much literature is tough to chew on and hard to digest. Butler’s work reminds one that there is literature—meaningful, multilayered, deeply intellectually satisfying writing that leaves room for as much thought as the reader wants to bring to it—that is also a pure pleasure to read. The concepts are laid out in a gorgeous, stimulating feast that also happens to be perfectly nourishing. 

Read this book! It'll never, ever make it to the screen, for reasons that will be obvious to any reader but which I won't spoil for you here. So if you want the story—and you do—you'll have to read it. If you'd rather be read to, the audiobook version, narrated by Tracey Leigh, leaves absolutely nothing to be desired.

If you still want more convincing, read this review—it’s fantastic.

A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising by Raymond A. Villareal

read by Jim Meskimen, Christine Lakin, Robert Petkoff, full cast

I wanted a trashy vampire novel, and that’s exactly what I got: plenty of yummy World-War-Z-style bang for my buck. It takes place in the very near future—In fact it begins right now, in 2018, and goes on for a few years—with a scientist from the CDC being asked to investigate a mysterious corpse which mysteriously vanishes before she can lay eyes on it.

Fortunately, the mortal remains of another person exhibiting the same symptoms, posthumously of course, is available for her examination. And then—whee!—that one disappears too, and the fun begins.

The comparisons I’ve seen elsewhere to World War Z are apt, but an even more apt comparison would be Stand on Zanzibar. The POV shifts among characters, but news and pop culture are also part of the narrative, and that news and pop culture sound an awful lot like today’s. This isn’t just a joy ride, though it is that; it’s also a straight-up satire about social stratification and political correctness (sorry, fellow liberals, we’re the pearl-clutching dodos here who are too PC to call a gloaming a gloaming, even for our own very obvious good) and racism/ableism/otherism.

The book does get just a little muddled in the last third or so. The number of characters and subplots is definitely on the high side, right from the start, and at a certain point my brain got a little tired of trying to keep them all straight. I started to regret not having taken notes from the beginning! Nevertheless, I was entertained enough not to mind too much, and I just let myself be confused by the confusing bits and kept going. Also, this problem will be solved in the (hopefully) inevitable movie version, when you can *see* all the characters.

It was a fun ride. Four out of five stars.